Sometimes, the universe has this annoying, perverse need to find ways to ensure that your day starts out awful and escalates to down-right abusive rather quickly. For me, this past Wednesday was one of those days.
I woke up that morning two hours later than I had originally planned thanks to a random blackout that hit part of Dahlonega that morning. After I took a cold shower in the dark, I proceeded to head to Walmart to pick up some supplies for an art project I was working on. Unfortunately, Walmart was also suffering from the aforementioned blackout.
I returned home, sans supplies, and attempted to touch up a black and white painting I was working on. Apparently, the powers that be were offended by my artwork and decided that I needed to make a clumsy error that would ruin my work of 8 hours. So, one fumbled paint brush and giant paint splatter later, I left my workstation annoyed and soon to be a day late on a project.
I attempted to sooth my rage by working on another art project I’ve been working on for the past few weeks. I stepped outside in my backyard and attempted to spray paint a foam prop I was planning on using at an upcoming convention. Much to my dismay, I learned that the material I had used and spray paint mixed about as well as fire and gasoline. I watched in displeasure as two weeks of hard work was slowly made decrepit and reminiscent of Swiss cheese in a matter of seconds.
After finishing my art class, sans project, I returned to my car. As is routine with such modes of transportation, I put my key in the ignition and attempted to start my car. Rather than the familiar hum of my Buick Regal, I was met with a languid death whinny. In the two hours I was away from it, my car battery had apparently decided that today would be a good a day as any to die.
While waiting for a friend of to come pick me up, I began to feel increasingly nauseated. I came to the conclusion that the biscuit I had scarfed down that morning, the sole, tasty bright spot of my otherwise crappy day had chosen to take a cue from my car battery and betray me. I spent the remainder of my night languishing on my couch in pain and internal distress.
Thanks universe. I hope you found your abuse of schadenfreude at my expense as joyous as I did depressing.
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